"How could I ever believe, that 10,000 stones would build the best of me"

I need out today for sure. 

I've made an amazing playlist, watched a few movies.

Hung out with a few friends.

I need out of my house before I hurt someone.

So let us pray right now that when I finally get around to going outside and starting my car that....I can indeed get out of my drive way.  Because if I still can't, I might...just...go crazy.


Kelsey comes home tomorrow :) yay

I think I'm done with today's post.

Song of the Day:

10,000 Stones by Adrianne

"Hold me down sweet and low little girl"

another snow day not by choice.

I tried to go to work but my car is absolutely stuck in my drive way....arg.

No insanity again today not sure what happened this morning I was in some sort of a weird dream haze.

I'm a weird mood.

Dang you emotions.

That is all.

Song of the day:

Sweet and low by augustana the acoustic version

"please see the bleeding heart perched on my shirt"

It's an ice storm outside!

No work today...no work tonight!  I'm pumped

Didn't do insanity either because I didn't sleep AT ALL last night basically it was like off and on tossing and turning in pain.

I think this is all I'm going to blog today unless I get bored again.

Song of the day:

Wasteland by 10 years

"But nothing could be further from the truth, my love, did you even listen?"

Insanity was insane!!

So I've decided that from now on, my blog titles will be lyrics from my song of the day, and if you click the title it will take you to that song via youtube.  So be checking those everyday :)

So back to insanity, it's hard it's always going to be hard.  But I decided that I wouldn't want to wake up at 5:45 M-F working out at 6 if it wasn't hard.  I like a challenge.

I wish everyone had a blog, I think that it could open a lot of doors.  I think that we might start paying attention more.  Maybe not though.

I'm excited about going back to sleep for a little bit before all the duties Wednesday brings.  I do love Wednesdays tho.  They bring a lot of fun and awesome people.

Well that's all for this Wed.

Song of the day:

Soul Sucker by Amos Lee  (click the blog title give it a listen)

Week 1 down!

Insanity was good today, hard but good.  I did more than I thought I would be able to do with my hip.

Work was work, busy as always.

I'm hoping to catch a quick nap before I go to work tonight.  I'm not feelin too good...zero zero zero energy.

Happy Tuesday!

day 6

Oh frustrations...

It's amazing that I am pretty mellow emotions wise and outrageously reasonable.  However when I feel overwhelmed, I just want to cry and grunt and yell and say bad things. 

1.  I don't cry - I've decided that this is no longer by choice.  I would like to be able to process and heal and cry through a lot of issues but the tears don't come.  It's like I'm Cameron Diaz on the Holiday.  Crying is very rare.

2.  I am a control freak.  I have gotten a lot better at this thought, but I still like my control.  haha even if it's fake control.

3.  I am super busy right now, and thinking about adding anything else to that mix makes me cringe and ache and just bubble.  This however doesn't stop life from happening or people from not understanding exactly what I do everyday.

I don't think people realize how little I am actually at my house.   I sleep here... sometimes I'm here for an hour maybe 2 if i'm lucky.  Let's just say "clean my room" has been on my to do list for almost a week now. 

Another thing that I'm going to try and do is get a full blown physical.  I feel ridiculously tired and way too dependent on coffee.  Also, I've never had one done so I just want to make sure everything is as it should be.

I did do insanity today, it was just stretching plus yoga.  It wasn't hard at all....and I pulled a muscle in my right hip.  My "hip fluxor".  I am currently heating it with a compress and it has tiger balm on it.  I'm hoping it'll get better soon, but regardless I'm not stopping insanity. 

I think that I'm a lot more crazy and messed up than I ever thought.  Yup, there is something seriously wrong with the no crying thing.  I feel like It only really gets in my way when I let people in close. 

Okay those are Monday's thoughts. 

EL FIN

Day 5

Today is for me.

I'm going to church soon then going to an open house around 1 then coming home doing laundry and cleaning my room and listening to music that is going to help me find my own sound.  If it gets to 56 I might go wash my car which it really needs!  And maybe recording a little tonight.  I want to start getting serious about my music.  I want to find my sound so that my songs can be even more mine.  I'm tired of trying to sound like other people and holding myself to standards that are unrealistic right now. 

Tomorrows Monday, back to crazyness but today, today is going to be a good day.

4

Had class today and yesterday.  Everything went fairly well.

I think I'm in a rut. 

Not really feeling the whole blogging thing today.

Day three

Alright I'll be honest didn't do insanity today.  I think I was the only one who woke up this morning.  I was up but I was more than happy to go back to sleep.  I have a really long day today work all day and then class tonight from 6-10.  I could definitely use the extra 2 hours of sleep. 

Today I am feeling sore, tired and exaugsted. 

Something that arose yesterday that I think is a huge problem these days is labeling.

We label everything, everyone, everything must fit into a label.  It's ridiculous if you think about it.  Why do we all have to fit into this box of how or who we should be.  This is very prevelent in the counseling world especially when diagnosing people.  I hate putting that label on someone I feel its unecessary most of the time.  Yes sometimes diagnosis can help treatment or finding the right treatment but I don't think that everyone one you counsel needs a diagnosis.  Why can't we just be.  And even when there really isn't anything wrong we are made to believe that there might be just to fit into a label.  It all just seems outlandish.  Take this survey, do this quiz, all so we can be placed into some category.  It's not that easy and it never will be.  I think that when you're growing up or even into adulthood you face labels to varying degrees.  I faced the bulk of mine in highschool.  I hated high school, I had friends but I definitely wasn't popular.  Why?  Because I didn't understand why it was necessary to fit into a label.  I don't understand it now.  I guess that I never will.

That's all for today.

Til Nextime. 

Day 2

Insanity today was still insane and still hard.  I hate waking up at 6am but I like being so productive.  Right now I feel like I'm running low on sleep but I have actually been sleeping just fine.

Being out in the real world is exciting but sometimes I still feel like I'm too...young to be doing what I'm doing.  Some days it feels like I'm already done with school and licensed and I'm already working in my ideal field.  But then weekends like this one come up and I'm reminded that I'm not done til August and that I should probably be studying way more than I am.  Which is....none.

I'm not really feeling the whole lets have a heart to heart blog today, however I am feeling like an hour nap sounds glorious so that's what I will do.

Til next time.

PS if you click the "Day 2"  You'll be linked to the insanity promo vid via youtube.

Blog Numero Uno

Started Insanity today it is exactly that, insane. It's hard and makes me feel..well fat but I like the challenge. Even though we are getting up at 6am to work out, it's productive enough that it feels like I have accomplished something when it's over. I'm sure that I will soon be feeling the intense pains of my endeavor soon.

I am beginning a new season of my life. One where I want to start taking things more seriously.

1. My Spiritual Life
2. Healthy Mind, Body and Soul
3. Being more open to actually putting myself out there.
4. Learning how to deal and process through emotions that I normally avoid.
5. Enjoying the people in my life, because I never know how long they will be in it.

These are just some of the things that I hope to pursue over this year.

What I hope this blog will be is, raw and honest.

I can't promise that I'll write everyday even though I'd like to, I know that it probably won't happen.

I guess that's all for now.

Signing off of this Day 1 Blog.